Be the change

If you have Netflix then you have probably watched or are mid way through watching ’13 Reasons Why’ a confronting series based around a teen suicide, bullying, depression and other school social issues. It has definitely got me thinking and opened my eyes to the society of today.

During my high school years there was no such thing as online bullying, camera phones, Facebook or Instagram. This doesn’t mean bullying and issues like these weren’t present. I got through high school fairly unscaved, only falling victim to a few petty incidents. Kids can be cruel, teens can be cruel and adults who should know better can be even worse.

My thoughts immediately moved to Aria, what will things be like by the time she is in school? What world will we be living in and how can I protect her.? As a mother the thought of anyone treating your child badly or them ever feeling anything other then love and happiness is terrifying or worse alone and unable to talk to me or someone about it. Even though I myself may have gotten through tough times it’s not something you would ever wish for your children.

All the old memories came flooding back, and to be honest the last few nights I have found myself full of thoughts at bed time. As a teen and adolescent I went through some pretty heavy things. Things I went through alone because I never felt I could talk to my parents about and I never had a close relationship with my mum. Not one where I could open up and share things with her anyway and to be honest even now in my thirties we still don’t have that kind of relationship. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents we just don’t have that type of family unit .

Unfortunately these days online bullying aka trolling is a huge issue and people are leaving their negative mark (comment) without a second thought to how it might effect the person it’s directed at. The new age online world which don’t get me wrong I love has a sinister side to it to. A place for people (trolls) to hide and target other people’s looks, views, opinions and lifestyles, even stooping as low as to target children and babies.

In this big wide world full of chances these people are choosing to leave a negative mark in society instead of making it a better place.

Are they mothers? fathers? sisters? brothers? daughters? sons? Regardless of who they are would they want this same kind of treatment towards their own children, siblings, friends, or family ? The answer is NO and they certainly wouldn’t want this same kind of treatment for themselves either. Maybe it’s happened to them before and this behaviour is a result of it. That’s no excuse. There is no excuse. Be the change, be better then that and don’t allow it to continue.

‘Be the reason someone smiles and brighten someone’s day. It feels great and comes back to you’

‘ Walk with the knowledge that you are never alone’

So what can I do? What can we do as mothers (parents) ? We can start by being open and honest in our parenting styles and teaching our children the same values early. Strive towards maintaining open communication even through the hard times. Which let’s face it there are plenty of throughout your life. Support other mothers and parents and their views and opinions. Agree to disagree. We are all different and have all been bought up differently there for our view arn’t the same. Put the judgment aside and live your own life your way and support people for opening up and sharing their struggles and stories. It takes a lot of courage to do this and it’s something I admire and have learnt a lot from.

All I know is I want Aria to be able to come to me when she needs me, talk about things and to never feel alone. I want her to know how important the way you treat yourself and others is and to always believe she is enough and she deserves everything she wants out of life and that if she is every feel down or struggling that it is ok and we can work through it together. This is something I am going to give my all to give her and I feel is my duty. The way I behave, treat people and myself is always been watched now, she picks up all of our behaviours and I am very mindful of what I do and say, even what I put on social media because society has many ways to manipulate it and turn it into something else.

Motherhood has taught me many things but most importantly it’s opened my eyes to the world and what really matters to me. Do I care what people think of the clothes I wear Β or how my hair looks? Not any more. I care about how I make my family and friends feel and that they are happier for knowing me and that I can be there to support them through the ups and downs of this thing called life. Something I am teaching Aria. I am proud of how much I have grown as a person since Aria arrived and I only wish to return the favour. I am forever grateful to her.

Few late night thoughts

Hope you have an amazing day

Jess

Xx

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